Sometimes we raise the question……”what did we do before the Internet?”
I think the answer to “What did we do before Facebook?” Would be…lots!! No wonder offices ban it……..l tend to use it as an instant messenger and mail service, some use it as a Scrabble board or a mean way to publicly humiliate by posting and tagging bad photos of our friends.
When l travelled by myself, thoughts started running through my head that went like this:
Startled Bunny is................
now clear that after two hours, the girl at the hotel who gave her directions had no understanding of what l was saying.
Startled Bunny is................
considering purchasing satellite navigation tomorrow for obvious reasons and having someone to chat to
Startled Bunny is................
wondering why retired men in hats congregate in parks....billions of them...and look at her like she is some sort of giant squirrel.
Startled Bunny cant................
get a taxi because no driver understands her... thinking of drawing landmarks tomorrow
Startled Bunny is................
finding Korean people friendly but every time they direct me, it is in the wrong direction.
Startled Bunny has....
not seen one other tourist today.
Startled Bunny has...
giant....humidity hair.
I was concerned. Had my life been simplified into a bunch of status updates? Because l was walking along, nobody to talk to other than a non-stop, free-lowing status update running through my head.
When l was recently ‘Facebook Friend-ed’ by someone l had not met yet…..but who l was in contact with on the Internet dating site…….and was about to meet…..I was Friendship stuck……caught in a Facebook corner. I had to accept her friendship.
So then l had the chance to know a lot more about this Friend/Stranger….and look at photos, wall entries, causes, groups but what was most frightening and revealing is the ‘Status Updates’. A secret stalker…….yet a “Friend”.
Have you stopped and considered, have you stopped and looked to see that your status entries go back and back and back and back………. to the day you joined.
It is like some sort of personality profile, a mental profiler of sorts.
My new friend was concerning…..she didn’t really pass my new ‘Facebook Mental-Profile Test’.
Then l wondered about my own mental profile.
My findings are:
STOP with the status updates because you are not funny
Who the FUCK cares!!
‘Facebook Mental-Profile Test Results’
…..Startled Bunny is crazy as ever, but not too concerned.
I advise to read this as a cure to insomnia:
Startled Bunny joined Facebook.
Startled Bunny is married to her new ipod.
Startled Bunny is pondering change.
Startled Bunny is giving the dog a haircut...mullet.
Startled Bunny is playing imagine if.
Startled Bunny is sooooooooooooo tired.
Startled Bunny is about to buy the dress of terror.
Startled Bunny is looking at pink dress.
Startled Bunny is about to go and buy a pair of heels.
Startled Bunny is wondering what the hell to say.
Startled Bunny is a nervious bridesmaid or is that budsmaid?
Startled Bunny is ready for 2007 to end.
Startled Bunny is on the run. Outback style!
Startled Bunny is packing her bags and herself and heading 650km NW of Alice Springs.
Startled Bunny is in Mt Libig and Kahootz'n with the kids.
Startled Bunny is in Papunya and finished teaching the little kids a splendid animation titled 'Shark eats Dolphin'.
Startled Bunny is in Papunya going to sleep in a swag on a classroom floor...outback camping!
Startled Bunny is up to record kids voices and drive back to Alice.
Startled Bunny is out of her swag and ready to record kids voices and drive back to Alice.
Startled Bunny is back.
Startled Bunny is going underground.
Startled Bunny is about to press the cocktail button.
Startled Bunny is wishing the power didn't go out b4 she pressed the cocktail button.
Startled Bunny is training her guide dog.
Startled Bunny is sorry.
Startled Bunny is Kahootz'n all night long.
Startled Bunny is sing'n 'burn baby burn'...No. 3 is finished!
Startled Bunny is celebrating the end of all deadlines.
Startled Bunny is preparing to get older, there are no instructions.
Startled Bunny is laaaaaaazzzzzzzzzeeeeee.
Startled Bunny is preparing for the mothership to land...planet Dot.
Startled Bunny is getting job interview sickness.
Startled Bunny is going to to try a bit of inprov tomorrow!
Startled Bunny failed improv, didn't know what came after the letters ABC....
Startled Bunny is singing, a..b....c...deeerrrrrrrrrr.
Startled Bunny is sandy, dusty and stinky.
Startled Bunny is wondering why you can't fly direct from Montreal to Vancouver, do l have to stop everywhere in the US?
Startled Bunny is booked for Soeul.
Startled Bunny is booked for Vancouver.
Startled Bunny is searching for somewhere to stay in San Francisco.
Startled Bunny is trying something new.
Startled Bunny was late to work because of something new.
Startled Bunny has been hit with the wikki stick.
Startled Bunny is all better.
Startled Bunny is in the Gip.
Startled Bunny is doing well on her list.
Startled Bunny is counting her chickens b4 thry've hatched.
Startled Bunny is a big scaredy cat.
Startled Bunny is a brave scaredy cat.
Startled Bunny is going to see Claire about her big, big hair.
Startled Bunny has given up smoking...forever!
Startled Bunny is haaaang'n by the telephone.
Startled Bunny is on hold...or has been disconnected.
Startled Bunny is sending a big hug to bud on her first day. x.
Startled Bunny has set D Day...now shut my trap and wait!
Startled Bunny is so happy that it wasn't Julia Gillard who called.
Startled Bunny has to wait 4 weeks for D-Day.
Startled Bunny is sick to see Kim go....sooo sick!
Startled Bunny is sick of 'Jive Talkin', movin' onto 'You should be Dancing'.
Startled Bunny is not sure about the Sofa, l feel like the entire cast of prisoner have contacted me.
Startled Bunny is fighting the cold and handing-over.
Startled Bunny is cleaning, packing and feeling REALLY sick today...sorry to all holidaymakers on the plane tomorrow who will have this cold also!
Startled Bunny is so sick, l can hardly pack. Woe is meeee!
Startled Bunny eaten greeeezy street stall food and finally found her hotel in seoul...yipeee.
Startled Bunny is full of Seoul.
Startled Bunny is queen of navigation, can`t put a foot wrong in her new Puma sneeks.
Startled Bunny just scored that seat in the middle...of the middle...for 14 hours...yeahy!
Startled Bunny is in New York.
Startled Bunny thinks NY may be a total blur, she has just discovered the free pour!
Startled Bunny is in the Soho Apple store..nerding out!
Startled Bunny is sleepless.
Startled Bunny is getting ready to climb the rock.
Startled Bunny has hit the wall....jetlag finally wins.
Startled Bunny is having a bbq and feeling better.
Startled Bunny now knows that bars for the laydeez are crud....worldwide!
Startled Bunny may have to leave NY for her own safety...if l eat one more hot dog on a street corner!
Startled Bunny has been defeated by the NY heat and pavement, time to pack.
Startled Bunny is getting ready for a NY nightclub...oooo!
Startled Bunny is in Montreal and just, just, just made the train.
Startled Bunny is oooooolala.
Startled Bunny is oolalalov'n Montreal but is getting up at 5am for Vancouver.
Startled Bunny has arrived at the gayest flat in Vancouver!
Startled Bunny is about to go to sleep in the gayest bed in Vancouver.
Startled Bunny has pounded the Vancouver streets and discovered hundreds of meth users.
Startled Bunny went to Grouse mountain....it was grouse.
Startled Bunny has one more sleep until San Francisco...getting tired now!
Startled Bunny just saw an L Word actress...and pondered for some time why she looked so familiar.
Startled Bunny needs a holiday....l'm soooo tired!
Startled Bunny may have lost her mobile...hope the Mexicans aren't calling home.
Startled Bunny is on her last day of 'race around the world'.
Startled Bunny is packing her bag and leaving San Francisco for Melbourne.
Startled Bunny is changing over in Korea.
Startled Bunny was held up in customs for having big American hair and carrying over the legal amount of muffstaches.
Startled Bunny has been offered the package and is gonna run for the hills.
Startled Bunny is cursing the iPhone at 4am.
Startled Bunny is a puffer fish in the snow.
Startled Bunny has a double whammy.
Startled Bunny misses her flicks.
Startled Bunny is uneasy.
Startled Bunny is perplexed.
Startled Bunny has a small break in her heart, will be glued by tomorrow.
Startled Bunny loves her friends.
Startled Bunny is not gonna count her muffs b4 they hatch.
Startled Bunny is flabergasted.
Startled Bunny is nervous.
Startled Bunny has had her first date in 14 years.
Startled Bunny has a creeper.
Startled Bunny is sick of juggling 4 balls, going to try one and a knife.
Startled Bunny is 95% sure.
Startled Bunny is 99.1% sure.
Startled Bunny is 99.9% sure.
Startled Bunny is 100% sure.
Startled Bunny is going to Sydney...to live.
Startled Bunny is morphing into some unknown fast moving....thing.
Startled Bunny can't believe her Sydney day.
Startled Bunny has started the month of good-bye..otherwise known as liver-fest.
Startled Bunny is skipping to Sydney...four days of Sydney bootcamp.
Startled Bunny has found her Sydney legs in Birchgrove.
Startled Bunny has the perfect job-agent on her case.
Startled Bunny is boarding the rollercoaster...or is it the ghost train.
Startled Bunny visited a primary school and was reminded that we are nerdy software gods...yeahy team!
Startled Bunny is wondering what life will be like without a job....it will involve water.
Startled Bunny is patting her pony and saddling up for Tuff Muff....Hi_Ho.
Startled Bunny is proud to say that her last Melbourne muff....was her best muff.
Startled Bunny has stayed back in the office late to do some shredding and wiping her office down for fingerprints....they will never pin this software on me.
Startled Bunny has 2.5 hours of job left...yeeeeeeeeeeeahy!
Startled Bunny has .5 hour of job left...yeeeeeeeeeeeahy!
Startled Bunny is officially living off the lamb....baaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
Startled Bunny has been bitten by the lamb....and is very, very sick.
Startled Bunny is gonna sleeeeeeeeeep in...this week...and next...maybe the one after too.
Startled Bunny is fighting the forces of good and evil.
Startled Bunny thinks she will go with good over evil.
Startled Bunny is just....wow.
Startled Bunny is starting to stress....had to happen!
Startled Bunny is feeling low.....that had to happen too.
Startled Bunny is ironing sheets....this is a first!!
Startled Bunny is daring or really, really stoopid...this is a poll!
Startled Bunny is finally packing up her life into boxes.
Startled Bunny is asking why the world has to be sooo unkind...why Naprogesic on move day....for the loooooooove of god owwwwwwwwwwww.
Startled Bunny is packing.....still..1am....l will make it when the van pulls up.
Startled Bunny at 2am is about to head to the St Kilda Streets to go through bins to find newspaper.......all class here!!
Startled Bunny is getting tardy at 3am....it can all be sold on eBay.
Startled Bunny is getting close to 3.30am and now plans to dump stuff next door...kirsten needs a herb brewer...a caserole pot....a really old blender....
Startled Bunny at 4am is wondering if the packing serevice would have been money well spent....how do l bubble wrap giant paintings?
Startled Bunny lasted till near 5am...Bo is now distressed...she is onto me....she's break'n my heart!
Startled Bunny is scrubbing and handing over the keys.
Startled Bunny has been cleaning in silence for 5 hrs and is going nuts....2 more to to...help!
Startled Bunny is on the move.
Startled Bunny is hanging out with the folks.
Startled Bunny thought about going for a job....phew, it passed.
Startled Bunny is counting down the days.
Startled Bunny is hanging out with Bo...5 last days o'Bo..sob
Startled Bunny is sneezing....and many of you know what that means....Happy Birthday Vanessa!
Startled Bunny is counting em...........4.
Startled Bunny is counting em...3.
Startled Bunny feels sick.
Startled Bunny is on the final leg of the marathon...Tulla here l come.
Startled Bunny is now living in Sydney.
Startled Bunny is missing Bo.
Startled Bunny is nursing Sydney calves.
Startled Bunny has turned into a morning person....and eating breakfast....something is wrong.
Startled Bunny has decided that it is time to release the bunny.
…………..if you got to the end. You are rewarded with the ‘Status Update’, that l recently ‘Un-Friend-ed’ the girl who was really a stranger. We met once, l fell on her……more on that later.
Her status updates got more disturbing, her profile photos looked gimmer, sadder….we never contacted each other…….l wonder if she has noticed that l am no longer her friend.
Does she care? Has she noticed?
I wondered if her status update had one day read…….
….is wondering why that bitch dropped me as a friend.
I want to write to Facebook and ask……..where is the ‘Clear All Status Updates’ button?
I want a clean mental slate....state.
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