The Sofa – Moveover Bunny

I’m here to share the highs and lows of sitting on a Pink Sofa and reflecting upon how there. For those not in the know, the Pink Sofa is a dating webisite for the Laydeeez and a place to sign on up and make new ‘friends’ or as my good old Mum would say….."special friends".

I came to doing this….without prompting…and pre ‘Ooo La Laa’. It was that thing of 'where o’where do l meet someone?’ Of course knew about the Sofa and had flicked through pictures of women on there in the past and gone'eeerrrrrrrrgh'. So it did take a little courage……but l was on my quest to change, so l made my start by doing something totally out of the ordinary.

Where to start? First you have to come up with your Sofa name….let me share some of the gems….BeachFeather, Lost Lamb, Crazy Cassie, Like2Try……all inspiring names that would lead you to contact them??? The name l chose was Moveover…..which of course was a couch gag but after choosing my pseudonym, l felt a little bossy. But there was no going back.

It is your Ad…..and stop and think about your own sales pitch. How would write this thing? It is hard!! So l don’t really want to dis people because it is not easy and it is also tricky to wade through and find someone because everyone starts to sound like variations of each other.

Once you have trawled through the same, same-ness of ….‘like hanging out with friends or spending a chilly night on the couch with a DVD and red wine’ you may find someone who has a sense of humour and shows it in their writing…..but until then, who would have known that so many Lesso’s love a good DVD and glass of red!

Then there are the photos, having watched friends look at the sofa and flick through the photos…….l am not ashamed to say that it is universal that we judge a lot upon that photo! And you have to ask yourself…..what are some of them thinking!! I not only looked at the person in the photo but also the background….was there terrible art in the background? A crafty looking room or bad curtains meant that l was unlikely to make contact……..but l did enjoy the occasional mis-placed palm tree which made her look like a giant head-dress.

When you found someone interesting, you sent a smile or a message….l guess a smile was the polite way of saying ‘go check me out and see if l pass’. Messages are really like Emails and you chat back and forth and perhaps organise to meet.

l started messaging someone straight up and we wrote long messages which turned into long Q&A type Quiz shows and made each other laugh a lot. In the first week l was brave enough to request ‘the date’ and she happily agreed but because of her “work” it had to be several weeks away…..so the closer it got, the sicker l felt…..sicker and sicker and wondered if dinner was such a good idea as food would be the last thing l could stomach! I need not have worried so much…………we never met. She re-scheduled for “work”, l went around the world for 3 weeks, she got back with her ex girlfriend.
Rule one……..no bouncing on the Sofa…bouncing back to your ex that is. So a long drawn out, information fest turned to nothing and l was so curious to find out what she was really like in person.

I picked up my broken little sofa and tried again. This time l only chatted for five days or so before meeting….a creative gal. It all seemed very promising…….she was creative, very cute, chose a fab local bar to meet.

The Date
l walked straight into the bar and ordered a drink. I heard my high pitched broken voice…”Vodka and Soda please”…….l was just a little nervous. I texted to say l was there and she texted back…… booth by the window. I’m glad she told me, l would never have recognised her! I managed to talk like a nervous maniac for two hours, scared of the silence…..occasionally feeling like l was starting at her, just trying to work out how she did not look like her photo….how had she done it? Needless to say, as a profession, she was a photo retoucher.
The goodbye was fast, l wanted to run. When she contacted me the next day, l did work in the line 'it is great to make new friends'……she didn’t seem that interested in my friendship after that line. Harsh.

Then l suddenly made the decision to move to Sydney and so my profile and Search changed to Sydney. I was traveling up occasionally to meet with recruitment agencies and that is how l came to go on a date in Sydney before l had even moved there.

Ms Sydney was funny, interesting and there were no warning bells as we wrote daily to each other……..until the date that is. The bells were so loud, l should have worn industrial ear muffs to the date.

I had flown up and scheduled two things l feared the most…..an interview with a job recruiter, followed by a quick clothes-change into ‘date girl’. The transformation was swift and l paced the apartment and then phoned her. She was coming to pick me up and l was nervous as hell.

As we had written to each other so much in the previous week, we had decided that it was appropriate to greet with a hug. I had failed to mention that l was a nervous klutz and when exiting the front door to the street l went to greet her with that well intended hug but failed to see the small step….the hug turned into a ‘fall upon’ greeting. A very classy first move.

She was tall and attractive, a bit too Toorak, a little to fond of making it known that she came from MONEY……..that was just uncool. But she was talkative and made it easy…….until the restaurant. Be it fate, chance, bad timing or was it jut their favourite place……..but our date clashed with another date….that of her ex-girlfriend. This was not a friendly split and although the meeting at the restaurant was cordial…….our date however turned into a ex-girlfriend slash-fest.
I shall leave the slash-fest to your imagination……..l may be writing a blog but l do have respect for peoples privacy…..whether it be ex girlfriends or people who l have just met. Respect is something to value.

Needless to say, l completed the date by falling out of the four wheel drive…….quite proper to start and end with a fall. She has since left the sofa.

By this stage of the dating game l had realised to be careful of how much information you give to someone before you even meet that person. Don’t write for a long time and don’t give too much away………just meet.

This does not mean to say that l followed this rule!
I was foolishly in Melbourne, contacting women in Sydney and was not to move there for another five weeks. There was only to be writing and more writing in this time.

I wrote to two women. Interestingly l had no "special friend" interest in either. One reminded me of my ex in looks and the other was too young.

I shall only talk about the ‘ex look a like’ briefly…..we wrote regularly but l gave little information about myself, nothing too personal…..which l am now very, very happy about.

She on the other gave out far more and as the month passed, went from ‘fascinatingly full of herself’, to perhaps a rather troubled woman with a drinking problem and a very un-resolved heart condition over a dare-l-say it…..ex girlfriend. I would openly say ‘you are either really interesting or a nut’…..then there came the day that l realised she fell more into the ‘nut bowl’ and she just made me feel nervous. I stopped writing. To her credit, she is not that much of a nut to contact me on my mobile but l do know that one day we will see each other at a venue in Sydney as we both know each others photos. I am not looking forward to that day but really that is the gay scene and sofa or no sofa, there always is potential for a Les-O-Rama.

So tip number one to those who ever take a seat on the sofa:
1/ Meet early.
2/ Don’t divulge too much personal information in the’ getting to know you’ quest prior to meeting.
3/ Enquire about their ex-girlfriend and whatever that outpouring is, will tell you a lot about a person.

I can’t knock the sofa, it gave me entertainment and mostly l learnt to laugh at myself and l also discovered how much l enjoy writing….. in the constant pursuit of hearing laughter on the other side of the keyboard.

And as for the other Sydney girl that l was writing to……well, it ended up that she wasn’t too young after all and it was good to write to someone for five weeks and get to know them first. On our first date, l didn’t fall on her and took the time to fall for her.

Tomorrow l am to meet her entire family….and that is the biggest date of all.
Luckily, people don’t tend to ask …..'so how did you meet?'